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It has come to our attention that vicious lies have recently been spread in dubious Internet publications about the masters of the world, the royal Vietnamese. Thus it is time to rectify this injustice. Here is the bare truth about this amazing country: Vietnamese are always right!

War and Peace

This is witnessed by history already: In the course of centuries, the biggest and meanest super rogue states of the world have repeatedly tried to usurp this peaceful country: among them China, Cambodia, France, and the USA. Yet none of them has ever succeeded! Far removed from any expansionist desires on their own part, uncle Ho and his friends have defended their country with their lives and, by the way, freed Cambodia from Pol Pot and spawned the hippie revolution in the USA.

Like socialism, only cooler

The Vietnamese have succeeded in keeping only the cool things from socialism: The name, red flags and Ho-Chi Minhs everywhere, and such little things as food and work for everybody. OK, I’m not so sure about the last one, but quite in contrast to its neighbors there seem to be no slums in Vietnam. Still everything is full of pretty neon signs, striving for profit, and modernity (for example, you can see the future of individual traffic in action here: millions of scooters are that much more efficient than millions of cars). Some killjoys told me about violations of human rights, but I’m certain they only got their ivory back scratchers repossessed.

The Land of the Free

Road 66 has nothing on this! Easy and Ruff Ryders are of one mind: Vietnam is the ultimate motorbike paradise. Since we have already posted quite a lot on this, here is the short version: The scenery is so much more varied, the roads better, the police more relaxed, the garages more frequent, competent, and cheaper than anywhere else in South East Asia, and probably the world. Even if you are afraid of riding a motorbike, you shouldn’t let the miracles of the Vietnamese mountains and beaches pass you by!

The best coffee in the world!

No shit: Vietnames coffee makes Italy look bad in comparison. Slowly it drips through primitive sheet metal contraptions on top of your cup and becomes chocolaty, viscous, and delicious. No comparison to anything else in the world. Nuff said. Well actually, they also have the cheapest beer and the most uplifting breakfast in the world.

The people

Ah, the people! OK, they may be sober and efficient, and maybe they are a little bit too much in your face. But they care! You are never lonely in Vietnam. They are not too shy, arrogant or stupid like most Chinese, not lazy like Laotians, and not naive like the Cambodians: Vietnamese are wonderful. They speak a funny Chinese language that in spite of all you can almost read, are unbelievably hospitable and attentive, and offer you anything at fantastic prices (the best value for money anywhere in South East Asia!). One simply has to love them.

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[lang_de]Nachdem in dubiosen Internetquellen unlängst Ungeheuerlichkeiten über die Herren der Welt, die königlichen Vietnamesen, verbreitet wurden, ist es an der Zeit, diesen Mißstand zu berichtigen. Hier ist die ungeschönte Wahrheit über dieses wunderschöne Land: Vietnamesen haben immer Recht![/lang_de][lang_en]It has come to our attention that vicious lies have recently been spread in dubious Internet publications about the masters of the world, the royal Vietnamese. Thus it is time to rectify this injustice. Here is the bare truth about this amazing country: Vietnamese are always right![/lang_en][lang_en]War and Peace[/lang_en][lang_de]Krieg und Frieden[/lang_de] [lang_de]Dies zeigt schon die Geschichte: Die größten und bösesten Superschurkenstaaten der Welt haben im Laufe der Jahrhunderte wiederholt versucht, dieses friedliche Land zu usurpieren: etwa China, Kambodscha, Frankreich und die USA. Doch ist es keinem gelungen! Weit von eigenem Expansionsstreben entfernt haben Onkel Ho und seine Freunde ihr Land mit ihrem Leben verteidigt und dabei noch ganz nebenbei Kambodscha von Pol Pot befreit und die Hippierevolution in den USA ausgelöst.[/lang_de][lang_en]This is witnessed by history already: In the course of centuries, the biggest and meanest super rogue states of the world have repeatedly tried to usurp this peaceful country: among them China, Cambodia, France, and the USA. Yet none of them has ever succeeded! Far removed from any expansionist desires on their own part, uncle Ho and his friends have defended their country with their lives and, by the way, freed Cambodia from Pol Pot and spawned the hippie revolution in the USA.[/lang_en] [lang_en]Like socialism, only cooler[/lang_en][lang_de]Wie Sozialismus, nur cooler[/lang_de] [lang_de]Die Vietnamesen haben es geschafft, vom Sozialismus nur die coolen Dinge zu behalten: Den Namen, überall rote Flaggen und Ho-Chi Minhs, und solche Kleinigkeiten wie Essen und Arbeit für alle. OK, bei dem letzten bin ich mir nicht so sicher, aber anders als bei seinen Nachbarn gibt es in Vietnam tatsächlich keine Slums zu sehen. Dennoch ist alles voller hübscher Neonreklamen, Profitstreben und Modernität (So kann man in Vietnam die Zukunft des Individualverkehrs in Aktion sehen: Millionen Motorroller sind so viel effizienter als Millionen Autos). Irgendwelche Spielverderber erzählten mir was von Menschenrechtsverletzungen, aber ich bin sicher, man hat ihnen lediglich ihre Elfenbeinrückenkratzer weggenommen.[/lang_de][lang_en]The Vietnamese have succeeded in keeping only the cool things from socialism: The name, red flags and Ho-Chi Minhs everywhere, and such little things as food and work for everybody. OK, I’m not so sure about the last one, but quite in contrast to its neighbors there seem to be no slums in Vietnam. Still everything is full of pretty neon signs, striving for profit, and modernity (for example, you can see the future of individual traffic in action here: millions of scooters are that much more efficient than millions of cars). Some killjoys told me about violations of human rights, but I’m certain they only got their ivory back scratchers repossessed.[/lang_en] The Land of the Free [lang_de]Vergiß road 66! Easy und Ruff Ryders sind sich einig: Vietnam ist das ultimative Motorradparadies. Weil wir darüber schon umfangreicher berichtet haben hier nur in Kürze: Die Landschaft ist so viel abwechslungsreicher, die Straßen besser, die Polizei relaxter, die Werkstätten zahlreicher, kompetenter und billiger als irgendwo sonst in Südostasien, ja wahrscheinlich in der Welt. Selbst wenn Du Dich nicht traust, Motorrad zu fahren: Die Wunder der vietnamesischen Berge und Strände solltest Du Dir nicht entgehen lassen![lang_de][lang_en]Road 66 has nothing on this! Easy and Ruff Ryders are of one mind: Vietnam is the ultimate motorbike paradise. Since we have already posted quite a lot on this, here is the short version: The scenery is so much more varied, the roads better, the police more relaxed, the garages more frequent, competent, and cheaper than anywhere else in South East Asia, and probably the world. Even if you are afraid of riding a motorbike, you shouldn’t let the miracles of the Vietnamese mountains and beaches pass you by![/lang_en] [lang_de]Der beste Kaffee der Welt![/lang_de][lang_en]The best coffee in the world![/lang_en] [lang_de]Ohne Scheiß: Vietnamesischer Kaffee läßt Italien schlecht aussehen. Er tropft langsam durch primitive Tassenaufsätze aus Blech und ist dann schokoladig, dickflüssig, köstlich. Mit nichts auf der Welt zu vergleichen. Nuff said. Ach nein: Sie haben auch das billigste Bier und das erbaulichste Frühstück der Welt![/lang_de][lang_en]No shit: Vietnames coffee makes Italy look bad in comparison. Slowly it drips through primitive sheet metal contraptions on top of your cup and becomes chocolaty, viscous, and delicious. No comparison to anything else in the world. Nuff said. Well actually, they also have the cheapest beer and the most uplifting breakfast in the world.[/lang_en] [lang_de]Die Leude[/lang_de][lang_en]The people[/lang_en] [lang_de]Ah, die Leude! OK, sie mögen nüchtern und geschäftstüchtig sein, und manchmal sind sie auch etwas zu sehr in Deinem Gesicht. Aber sie kümmern sich! In Vietnam bist Du nie einsam. Sie sind nicht zu schüchtern, arrogant oder doof wie die meisten Chinesen, nicht faul wie die Laoten, und auch nicht naiv wie die Kambodschaner: Vietnamesen sind wunderbar. Sie sprechen eine lustig chinesische Sprache, die man trotz allem wenigstens halbwegs lesen kann, sind geradezu unglaublich gastfreundlich und zuvorkommend, und bieten Dir alles zu fantastischen Preisen an (das beste Preisleistungsverhältnis in Südostasien!). Man muß sie einfach lieben.[/lang_de][lang_en]Ah, the people! OK, they may be sober and efficient, and maybe they are a little bit too much in your face. But they care! You are never lonely in Vietnam. They are not too shy, arrogant or stupid like most Chinese, not lazy like Laotians, and not naive like the Cambodians: Vietnamese are wonderful. They speak a funny Chinese language that in spite of all you can almost read, are unbelievably hospitable and attentive, and offer you anything at fantastic prices (the best value for money anywhere in South East Asia!). One simply has to love them.[/lang_en]