It has come to our attention that vicious lies have recently been spread in dubious Internet publications about the masters of the world, the royal Vietnamese. Thus it is time to rectify this injustice. Here is the bare truth about this amazing country: Vietnamese are always right!
War and Peace
This is witnessed by history already: In the course of centuries, the biggest and meanest super rogue states of the world have repeatedly tried to usurp this peaceful country: among them China, Cambodia, France, and the USA. Yet none of them has ever succeeded! Far removed from any expansionist desires on their own part, uncle Ho and his friends have defended their country with their lives and, by the way, freed Cambodia from Pol Pot and spawned the hippie revolution in the USA.
Like socialism, only cooler
The Vietnamese have succeeded in keeping only the cool things from socialism: The name, red flags and Ho-Chi Minhs everywhere, and such little things as food and work for everybody. OK, I’m not so sure about the last one, but quite in contrast to its neighbors there seem to be no slums in Vietnam. Still everything is full of pretty neon signs, striving for profit, and modernity (for example, you can see the future of individual traffic in action here: millions of scooters are that much more efficient than millions of cars). Some killjoys told me about violations of human rights, but I’m certain they only got their ivory back scratchers repossessed.
The Land of the Free
Road 66 has nothing on this! Easy and Ruff Ryders are of one mind: Vietnam is the ultimate motorbike paradise. Since we have already posted quite a lot on this, here is the short version: The scenery is so much more varied, the roads better, the police more relaxed, the garages more frequent, competent, and cheaper than anywhere else in South East Asia, and probably the world. Even if you are afraid of riding a motorbike, you shouldn’t let the miracles of the Vietnamese mountains and beaches pass you by!
The best coffee in the world!
No shit: Vietnames coffee makes Italy look bad in comparison. Slowly it drips through primitive sheet metal contraptions on top of your cup and becomes chocolaty, viscous, and delicious. No comparison to anything else in the world. Nuff said. Well actually, they also have the cheapest beer and the most uplifting breakfast in the world.
Ah, the people! OK, they may be sober and efficient, and maybe they are a little bit too much in your face. But they care! You are never lonely in Vietnam. They are not too shy, arrogant or stupid like most Chinese, not lazy like Laotians, and not naive like the Cambodians: Vietnamese are wonderful. They speak a funny Chinese language that in spite of all you can almost read, are unbelievably hospitable and attentive, and offer you anything at fantastic prices (the best value for money anywhere in South East Asia!). One simply has to love them.