sagesex

Maybe it was a portent that this cute girl I approached in the park this afternoon turned out to be a ladyboy. Damn! Still, right on time for curfew at about two we start our journey into Bangkok’s nightlife.

Bangkok Ladyboy

The cool jazz bar nearby is just closing. Damn! On the way to Kao San Rd., Bankok’s number one watering hole for backpackers and night people, a bar is offering large Chang beer for 60 Baht and there are even some funny looking tourists. Indeed, these Belfast girls might optically all be a little plump, but they’re funny to boot. All of them are called Emma and like to draw bare from time to time. Besides our two beers I drink abundantly of their cocktail buckets (really! Little buckets with whiskey-cola and stuff. Though the barkeeper saved on the whiskey.). We tell them the most absurd stories, eg. we are sisters, come from Cambodia and came here for making 3D-porn against the inequity that treats women like sluts and men like stallions. It’s on. At about four the first ice cube fights break out. A guy from the next table (I dunno, probably something between Thai and Indian) has to prove his masculinity and establish order. I almost get in a fight with him and somehow this kills the flow of conversation. A little later, after an ingenious diversionary tactic the Irish literally run away (really, they run!), when we wouldn’t simply submit to their sudden mood swings. Damn! Anyway, we’re talkative and slightly drunk, my state is absolutely tight at this point and we haven’t even arrived at the tourist mile. The night is young!

On Kao San the rest life is blustering. I fool about with everybody we meet. Like I offer an incredibly skinny “P.R.” (a girl handing out flyers) to prostitute Julian for 500 Baht. When she indignantly declines, I pick her up and carry her around because I can’t believe how skinny she is. When I try this a second time she forcefully hits me in the nuts. Damn! You are dismissed! A few meters down the street Julian is drawn into conversation by a street beer vendor and a hooker. I sit down with them and suddenly she passes: A hot, very cute and feminine Thai girl, let’s call her P. As I said, my state is tight and so I summon her without any second thoughts. First she’s hesitating, but I am instantly sure that this will work.

When we sit opposite each other quite familiarly a little later, there is sudden commotion: E., an Iranian Swede who takes part in Laotian muay thai prize fights, is telling us his life story. He is somehow cool and exciting, yet a little annoying, the more so as P. and I do feel a physical connection and he simply doesn’t stop talking. Damn! Julian is having fun with the sales girls and a vintage New Zealand hippie who almost breaks down laughing when I suggest Julian to try some kino with them. Eventually the hippie, who just couldn’t sleep and therefore wanted to have a beer at five in the morning, leaves and Julian loses the girls when he clarifies a little too uncalibratedly that he intends to buy neither drinks nor sex. Damn!

At this point E. has already given away that he is in dire need of 150 Baht for his taxi ride home and would like to sell me some weed for that. After short deliberation and long to-and-fro including some venue changes E. is taking what feels like two hours to roll a trial joint in some bar toilet, and in spite of P. protesting the other three of us share it furtively in a tiny Soi (alley). E.: ” The police keeps away from us because we’re white. And even if they bust you it’s only 10000 Baht”. Allright, why not buy a little bag of shit from him for 150 Baht. While Julian and P. hang out on Kao San, I return to the Soi with E.. He shows me the stuff (it’s looking really strange) and I am just counting a few 20s into his hand when suddenly a moped appears behind E. Before I can even say “watch out” there is a cop standing between us and sees the notes. Damn! A short frisking later he holds the weed in his hand and E. is on his knees begging to let him go. Luckily I don’t have anything in my pockets yet and so discretely remove myself from the crime scene while the cop calls for backup and E. finally has to join him on his moped in handcuffs and carrying my money. For a moment I believe in a scam, but if E. has really staged this with the cops, this show is worth 150 Baht to me.

So back to Julian and P. Daylight is breaking and yesterday already we had decided to go visit the huge golden temple area around Wat Pho in the morning light after staying up all night. P. tells us she has to work at 10 but then comes with us and is getting more and more cuddly. While marching there it turns out that even with her few scraps of English and my nonexistent Thai we are able to have a truly inspiring conversation and flirt. In the days before Julian and I had always got up too late to get into Wat Pho. Now it’s too early with the temple opening at 9 only. Damn!

On the way back Julian discretely says goodbye and goes home to sleep. Now P. and I have a problem: After some persistence on my part (“You go sleep with him”, “I’d rather sleep with you”) she, too, thinks we should get a room together. Only we can’t find any! We drag ourselves to four or five hotels and guest houses only to find them all booked out or too expensive. At 9 P. has to go start her one-hour trip to work. Damn! I guess that means back to the guest house to sleep till it gets dark again …

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Maybe it was a portent that this cute girl I approached in the park this afternoon turned out to be a ladyboy. Damn! Still, right on time for curfew at...