So, you wussie; been smoking too much again today? Been drinking a few glasses even though you promised to be the driver? Thinking about sex all day again? But it’s not your fault. You can’t do a thing when the addiction comes up. Or can you? Of course you can. So listen up closely to the following three principles that will help you poor victim mastering your life.
In order to break your ego completely and get you in the mood for rebuilding please listen to my old friend Gisbert zu Knyphausen.
The first thing you’re going to do now is reformulating your problems. You are not addicted to anything nor dependent, you are simply doing it a lot. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t need it, but you do it. Having to, needing, addiction, dependency: All words that only serve to cover up your weakness. In this first step it is important to take full responsibility for your actions. It’s not the addiction doing anything, it’s you! You are the one that acts. You are always the highest authority. You keep the cards in your hand, the cigarette, and the glass. Formally, this alone vanquishes the addiction already. Yet these are just words, changing your behavior takes a little more.
Watch yourself. Watch what you are doing, how you are doing it and look for reasons. Even though most people are idiots, it can do no harm adjusting yourself to the rest of the world from time to time in order to forestall drifting off completely. Why did you drink last night in spite of everything? Because all your friends started drinking and you couldn’t resist it, or because otherwise you could not have borne sitting alone in the corner? Or is nothing coming to your mind? Think about it. If you feel base motives why not punish yourself a little. Torture yourself and your body by not doing what it says. Use stick and carrot. You can get used to everything. Even withdrawal can be addictive.
Accepting is key. Accept that you have a hard time getting into this way of thinking. Accept that it takes you a long time. Accept that your body is resisting. It is used to your old way of thinking and has to be gradually persuaded. Sometimes you satisfy his craving, sometimes you don’t. Someday you will both be used to the fact that moments of pleasure come and go. That you don’t have to force them. In its core this way of thinking is very similar to abundance mentality, even leading into the direction of enlightenment. A big piece of wisdom that you can put into practice right now.
Cambodia should be a gourmet’s paradise: It’s situated between Vietnam and Thailand, two representatives of internationally renowned super cuisines. Our cooking class with Smokin’ Pot in Battambang kept us wanting more as well. Wonderful curries, not as spicy as in Thailand nor as subtle as Vietnam, but very smooth and delicious. The national specialty “Volcano/Fire Mountain”, for which you fry carpaccio marinated in peanut sauce on a kind of turned-over pasta strainer over an open gas light, truly delighted us as well.
We had become lazy. The heat was wearing us down these days. Lethargy and routine were our means of fighting it. We were hanging out on our mattresses under a ceiling fan, reading and drinking warm water. Then we were hanging out in rattan chairs in the rooftop bar of our guesthouse, reading and drinking cold beer. It was nice to be in a country where, in contrast to Thailand, you could drink cheaply again. And at 40°C and 50 Cent for a cold draft in a bar where there is a fresh breeze every now and then – who are we to argue it’s too early for drinking? Read the rest of this entry »
Maybe it was a portent that this cute girl I approached in the park this afternoon turned out to be a ladyboy. Damn! Still, right on time for curfew at about two we start our journey into Bangkok’s nightlife.
We know someone who has tried ACID once. Even if you had expected Sex-Obama to get caught with his pants down, it wouldn’t have been half as exciting as the latest sagesex.com acquisition! The observant among you will have noticed already: From today on, sagesex.com will be bilingual! I had this in mind for a long time, but until now I didn’t have the time to do it – until now! From today I’m no longer writing sagesex on my own. I have been able to find a most gifted and exciting new author to embark with me on the sagesex world tour, reboot his life and this blog. And that’s not all, Julian is my brother, too.
Rebooting your life 2: Two perspectives
Formal introductions suck – I believe that the following two short stories illustrate the potential of this meeting of minds in colorful contrasts. In the past days we have independently thought about the metaphor of rebooting your life…
Stefan – rebooting my life every day
I have used the image of rebooting in the last post in order to illustrate a new beginning, a rebuilding of different aspects of life. Some of these aspects are external and really concern what Eckhart Tolle would call the life situation: a new job, new people, new places …
But for me, the core of the reboot metaphor is an inner restart (Attention – Buddhist propaganda ahead! If you are sensitive about esoteric/religious talk please proceed immediately to Julian’s story for a more sex, drugs, and rock’n roll centered approach!): The feeling that a pure world is arising, beautiful and perfect. Everything is fresh and full of potential. Every atom vibrates with joy and is kept together by love. Beings near and far manifest as female and male Buddhas, whether they know it or not. Every sound is mantra and all thoughts wisdom, simply because they can arise…
This image appears almost literally at the end of many diamond way Buddhist meditations. That is why I really reboot my mind, and thus my life, into a fresh, pure world each time I meditate. Diamond way meditations contain a lot more psychologically effective means as well, but you can use the last paragraph or a similar image that is more appealing to you for rebooting after any kind of meditation or even trance. In order to get there, you might for example simply mind your breath for a while, letting thoughts that arise and the disturbances of the outside world come and go without following them. This conscious, pure restarting process has oftentimes saved my day. It costs some effort, but it’s getting easier everyday when you get used to it by daily practice (the Tibetan word for meditation – Gom – can be translated simply as routine).
Julian – my false start
I open up my eyes and wonder where I am. Neither is this mine nor any bed I am lying on, it’s the living room floor. I’m thinking and thinking, yet the HDD-check remains without success – I have no idea why I’m lying here. But at least the check told me that my mouth feels like I have eaten the Gobi desert. The possibility of getting up is effectively not existent to me, so I roll over and begin to crawl slowly and with a hammering headache to the bathroom. On the way I find a half-smoked joint on the ground and take it with me without giving it any further thought.
When I finally arrive I get rid of my pants which obviously have caught some stains yesterday, and I put on the local jazz radio for relaxation. So the radio is now playing some easy listening “jazz” muzak and I’m clinging to the heater and toilet bowl. While I’m letting myself fall down on the toilet, my head exclaims through nausea and heavy staggering that it’s not ready for such an upright position – a totally failed beginning for a day, a classic false start.
Fortunately, the universe always gives us a chance for starting new. So I grab the lighter that rarely leaves its doubtlessly sensible regular place between the loo and the tub, light the joint and strainedly smoke the last few hits whereupon I fall from the bowl and rest motionless lying here on the fluffy pink bath mat for the next half hour. This time my eyes stay open, still my brain is put on standby, so I can’t even say if anybody has entered the bathroom during all this time. But finally there awakes with me a motivation I’m not used to, the realization that it wasn’t the day that started the wrong way, but me.
So. Brain booted up, raise body. Standing works, time for a change: One button pressed and instead of shallow blues flows strong, punctuatedly beaten march music comes from the radio. Motivation from the tape, simple and effective. Still the world is rotating but this time I’m prepared, holding on to the sink and refilling the internal water supply. On without a break: Shower, brush teeth, pretend I haven’t just seen the tear sacs in the mirror, and already I’m human again and I almost even feel like it. Now I’m ready for the day!
For those of you that the universe doesn’t like that much I recommend a body-brain-reboot emergency case: A joint to take yourself out again after a false start, and a walkman with march music to get yourself in the mood for facing your body and the world afterwards. In case of emergency please break the glass!
I have never been a smoker. I tried, yes. But I never liked it. In fact, I find smoking cigarettes rather disgusting. Then I went to Portugal, and met the deadliest drug on earth.
Enter … Black Devil!Read the rest of this entry »