sagesex

Jane was the polar opposite of Jodie in almost every way. Brought up sheltered, disaster had struck her in her teens, and she was ever since learning to cope with life in a constructive and active way. It had made her a sweet yet strong young woman, the most trustworthy one I’ve ever met. She had been sticking with me as my girlfriend through quite some hardships for years, and we have been very happy at times.

Building Karma

However, for karmic reasons, this whole time I could not bring myself to lead a monogamous life. I have always honest been about this, yet even finding the degree of openness that hurt the least proved a complicated fight in the long run, a fight that could not be won as I am now convinced. That was because Jane always dreamed of being the only one for me, something I could not give to her. This fact was clear maybe six months into the relationship, yet we carried on for more than four years together. Some months into my affair with Jodie, Jane finally pulled the plug. I still don’t know if or when I should have broken up with her, because even if it gradually turned into more and more suffering on both sides, a lot of beauty would have been missed out on, had we decided early on that we shouldn’t be so foolish. What I do know now, however, is how much Jane suffered during these years. A little after we separated, she wrote me an angry text message saying “I hope that this bitch will make you suffer the same way you made me.” Karma should teach me.

The Fruition of Karma

I must have been rather enlightened at the time, since my karma ripened very quickly: In the same way that I could not give Jane what she needed, Jodie could not give me the trust and security that I didn’t even know I craved, since Jane had unaskingly provided it for me all the time. In a similar way that I could not cut Jane off all these years, Jodie pulled me in again and again just to push me away again. In the end, I had to cut off from Jodie the same way Jane had once pulled away from me. It all seemed like déjà-vu to me. The wish to end this suffering and re-acting out of karma again and again since beginningless time has made me enter the Buddhist path. May it help us and all beings to be free from suffering and the root of suffering.

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Jane was the polar opposite of Jodie in almost every way. Brought up sheltered, disaster had struck her in her teens, and she was ever since learning to cope with life in a constructive and active way. It had made her a sweet yet strong young woman, the most trustworthy one I've ever met. ...