Karma Tales 1: Jodie
Jodie was a survival machine. Her story was that she had been mistreated badly by her single mother, left home as soon as she could, fought for herself all her life. This part of karma is what is usually explained by former lives. Doesn’t matter if you buy it. Not even a real beauty, she nonetheless had learned how to seduce any man she needed for self validation. And self validation she needed a lot. Her relationships tended to get fucked up real fast. No surprises here, no need for psychological analysis, it can all be nicely explained by karma – impressions that shape the subconscious. But that was her karma. How did I get caught up in that, and why?
The How
I met Jodie at a party. She’s extremely social, the kind of girl that approaches a man. We talked and flirted for quite some time – as I said, this girl knows how to entertain a gentleman – until suddenly she burst away, jumping to put her arms around what must have been her boyfriend. I was slightly irritated, but drank on, flirting with another girl for the rest of the evening. At the end of the night, with everybody intoxicated beyond social norms, I took her aside to state the obvious, which, come to think of it, probably started all the karmic reaction: “We should meet sometime when your boyfriend is not around”, to which she readily agreed, leaving me with a riddle to solve in order to contact her.
The Why
I have certainly had my own share of childhood and adolescence traumata, which is probably the deeper reason why I took this dangerous path. Tomorrow’s story will be about the more immediate past that has probably required me to live through what followed. When we met, I didn’t of course know the backstory full of red flags. But her behavior that evening should have been enough to drop it like it’s hot. Helping a girl cheat on her boyfriend is exactly the kind of thing that I now realize creates bad karma, and it took immense arrogance not to notice that fact and ignore it much later when all these red flags arrived and I still deepened my relationship with her, thinking something along the lines of “that could happen to that poor sucker, but I’m gonna heal that girl”.
The What
In the next six months I helped her become one of the greatest lovers I ever had, while we both kept our primary relationships. The difference being that she lied to her bf, while I had always been open about my affairs (more about this tomorrow). Tolerating this (both of this) was probably the greatest mistake I made, but let me tell me these were sweet times.
When our primary relationships died, things turned bad really fast. Because even if that is stating the obvious, Jodie was a great lover, but a lousy girlfriend. I tried to change her, bad idea. I had a girlfriend that kicked me in the balls whenever she said “trust me”, and she had a boyfriend that let her feel she did not meet his needs. Don’t get me wrong, this was still a more than passionate love, but it went up and down like crazy. To make the whole thing even more exciting, we tried all sorts of non-monogamous arrangements, which invariably led to extra pain on both sides. Finally, she left me when I needed her most, and she has since betrayed two more boyfriends. I learned a lot and for this I am thankful. But there has been a hefty pain price tag attached to these lessons, triggering more of my karmic residues, that I now get the chance to consciously work on.
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Pretty sure this was no easy post for you. Glad you come around with this though, might be a great lessons for all of you just learning about the big bad karma you’re able to create. Remember, nobody is perfect and everybody got it’s issues and reasons at both ends. You can’t blame her for acting like that, nor you can blame yourself. But you can try another way as you are presented to a similar situation, because with some certain kind of influence you are the one that creates your both future. Sometimes it’s just like little moments, gestures or reactions that change the whole outcome in 6 months. Walk with open head, eyes and ears and you will succeed.
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