sagesex

Exactly one year ago I wrote an article on painful breakups and more specifically on methods for getting over it. Therein I also mentioned a rather radically sounding means that is being formulaicly prescribed by the pickup community: FTOW – Fuck Ten Other Women! All right, it sounds stupid and certainly it isn’t meant to be taken literally. Still: I have done exactly this – and it has worked, even if differently from what I thought. Here is the story of my healing, illustrating once again how perfect and wondrous the Universe is.

The first nine women were returning lovers, one night stands, and relatively short affairs. I am grateful to every one of hem. It was sometimes better, sometimes worse, and it always felt good, but it didn’t seem to change anything about the underlying problem. The memories of my borderline borderline ex-girlfriend became less burdening and less important very slowly and independently from these experiences. It was the same with the tenth woman. I met her in Phnom Penh, we had a few beautiful days together, and then I traveled on to Vietnam. I took notice that she was the tenth and already planned on writing an article about FTOW being a myth. Number eleven came shortly after: surprising, sexy, and hardly a one night stand. And the proof that there is really nothing magically about ten. Or is there?

A few weeks later I met girl number 10 again in Hanoi. Julian wanted to go on to Laos, I wanted to stay a little longer in Vietnam, and so number 10 and I decided to travel together in Vietnam for a few days. The few days have turned into five weeks by now. I hardly think about the events of last year anymore at all and I am enjoying the experience of love without psycho drama. FTOW worked like a charm!

Could this work for you, too? I believe so, and it might not have to be ten, if you keep the following explanations in mind. If you are a woman, or gay, then just FTOM – the principles works just as well for you.

It’s NOT about the numbers

What? Didn’t I just stress the miracle of the number 10? Right. But it’s about the miracle, not the number. It doesn’t mean that you have to sleep with as many women as possible, come what may. I didn’t try that either. OK, I have kept count, because I’m into weird experiments with life (for my readers’ benefit as well). But I haven’t exerted myself. Well, that’s not entirely correct, since I did make the most out of my opportunities. But most of all I have consciously tried to shape my life independently from any women. Which takes us to the next point.

So why 10?

Well, 10 is a relatively large number. Maybe not for everybody, but these serial fuckers probably have more pressing psychological problems than painful breakups. What does this number tell us? It means three things: Time, independence, and uncertainty. You need time, and in this time you should not become dependent on a new partner. These quick fix relationships never work anyway. On the other hand you gain nothing by holing up. So seize your opportunities but be sure to be OK, with or without a woman/man. OK, this explains time and indendence. But why uncertainty?

Trust the Universe

Uncertainty means that you cannot plan your fate. If you give yourself time, seize your opportunities, and become more happy independently of new relationships, then simply trust in the Universe. Who knows what is waiting for you after 10 (or, in your case, maybe 2 or 32) new experiences? Maybe you marry, maybe you enter a convent, or maybe you become an unscrupulous serial fucker. The Universe will choose the right thing for you. Trust It.

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Exactly one year ago I wrote an article on painful breakups and more specifically on methods for getting over it. Therein I also mentioned a rather radically sounding means that is being formulaicly prescribed by the pickup community: FTOW – Fuck Ten Other Women! All right, it sounds stupid and certainly it isn’t meant ...